Select a question below to learn more.
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A funeral is the customary way to recognize death and its finality. Funerals are recognized rituals for the living to show respect for the dead and to help survivors begin the grief process.
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• Funeral directors are caregivers and administrators. They make the arrangements for transportation of the body, complete all necessary paperwork, and implement the choices made by the family regarding the funeral and final disposition of the body.
• Funeral directors are listeners, advisors and supporters. They have experience assisting the bereaved in coping with death. Funeral directors are trained to answer questions about grief, recognize when a person is having difficulty coping, and recommend sources of professional help. Funeral directors also link survivors with support groups at the funeral home or in the community.
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In most states, family members may bury their own dead, although regulations vary. Most people find it very trying, however, to be solely responsible for arranging the details and legal matters surrounding a death.
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Viewing is part of many cultural and ethnic traditions. Many grief specialists believe that viewing aids in the grief process by helping the bereaved to recognize the reality of death. Viewing is encouraged for children, as long as the process is explained and the activity voluntary.
Viewing the body is a way of honoring the transition from life to death and saying our last goodbyes. Embalming is a familiar and standard part of funerals in North America today, though it is optional. Embalming the body temporarily preserves it so family and friends can say goodbye.
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• Embalming sanitizes and preserves the body, retards the decomposition process, and enhances the appearance of a body disfigured by traumatic death or illness.
• Embalming makes it possible to lengthen the time between death and the final disposition, thus allowing family members time to arrange and participate in the type of service most comforting to them.
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No. Most states, however, require embalming when:
• Death was caused by a reportable contagious disease
• Remains are to be transported from one state to another by common carrier
• If final disposition is not to be made within a prescribed number of hours
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While it is true some metropolitan areas have limited available cemetery space, in most areas of the country, there is enough space set aside for the next 50 years without creating new cemeteries. In addition, land available for new cemeteries is more than adequate, especially with the increase in entombment and multi-level grave burial.
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Absolutely, through an association with other family owned and independent funeral homes you can have visitations, services, and memorial services at other funeral homes, churches, community centers, and/or other facilities of choice conveniently located to you upon request. Unlike cremation or memorial societies and other alternative funeral operations who offer limited service, Dudley-Hoffman Mortuary is a full service funeral and cremation service, able to meet every need of families we serve.
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If you are traveling out of town or to another state when death occurs, your family should contact our funeral home immediately. We will make the necessary arrangements with a well respected firm in that location to assist with the transfer.
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Yes, according to the Federal trade Commission Funeral Rule you can purchase caskets, urns, and/or burial vaults to be used at other funeral homes through us.
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No, cremation is an alternative to earth burial or entombment for the body's final disposition and often follows a traditional funeral service.
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Yes, but not dramatically.
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Absolutely.
You can have a full traditional service, with viewing, and a funeral
service at the funeral home or church. The cremation will then take
place the following day. The cremains can be kept by the family or
interred in your cemetery plot.
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• Yes, a person who dies of an AIDS-related illness is entitled to the
same service options afforded to anyone else. If public viewing is
consistent with local or personal customs, that option is encouraged.
Touching the deceased's face or hands is perfectly safe.
• Because the grief experienced by survivors may include a variety of
feelings, survivors may need even more support than survivors of
non-AIDS-related deaths.
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• When compared to other major life cycle events, like births and weddings, funerals are not expensive. A wedding costs at least three times as much; but because it is a happy event, wedding costs are rarely criticized.
• A funeral home is a 24-hour, labor-intensive business, with extensive facilities (viewing rooms, chapels, limousines, hearses, etc.), these expenses must be factored into the cost of a funeral.
• Moreover, the cost of a funeral includes not only merchandise, like caskets, but the services of a funeral director in making arrangements; filing appropriate forms; dealing with doctors, ministers, florists, newspapers and others; and seeing to all the necessary details.
• Contrary to popular belief, funeral homes are largely family-owned with a modest profit margin.
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Pre-arranging is a way of making informed decisions ahead of time instead of hasty, emotional choices often made at the time of need. Your true wishes about your funeral can be expressed and made with your family and friends. Pre-arranging your funeral also spares your family stressful decisions at a difficult time by eliminating doubt about what you wanted for your funeral. There are also a wide variety of funding options including life insurance, designed to make pre-payment simple and easy. By choosing to prefund your funeral, it is guaranteed at today's prices without the risk of inflation.
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These questions should get you thinking:
• How did you and the deceased become close?
• Is there a humorous or touching event that represents the essence of your passed loved one?
• What did you and others love and admire about the deceased?
• What will you miss most about him or her? Some of the simplest thoughts are deeply touching and easy for those congregated to identify with. For example, "I'll miss her smile," or "I'll never forget the way he laughed," are just as good as "I admired her selflessness."
Tips:
• Be honest and focus on the person's positive qualities.
• Humor is acceptable if it fits the personality of the deceased.
• "If you are inclined to be a perfectionist, lower your expectations and just do what you can given the short time-frame and your emotional state," writes Schaeffer in Labor of Love. [Who’s this Shaeffer guy and where did this come from all of a sudden?]
• Keep it brief. Five to ten minutes is the norm, but it's a good idea to verify that with the minister or funeral director.
• Interviewing family and friends will give you more ideas.
• Put the eulogy on paper - at least in outline form.
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